We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
