I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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