He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
