Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize