Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
