you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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