i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
