So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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