Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
