We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
