on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
