She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
