ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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