im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
