it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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