Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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