My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Moan for me like Helen Keller
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
