I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
