The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
