Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
