If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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