I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
