Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
