So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
