U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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