It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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