hell yes lets make some ravioli
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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