Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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