discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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