You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize