You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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