Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
