That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Are we still banned from the library?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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