we have officially lost it.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm too high and old for this...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
