Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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