pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
