I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
