I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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