I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
