yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
