I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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