VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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