is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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