The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
