we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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