Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize