oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
