So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
