A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
