yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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