Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize