i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
