I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
