I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
