no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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