I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize