Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
