last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
