College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
