Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
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