We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize