If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
