i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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