she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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