I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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