The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The beer is more important than you right now.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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