PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
