Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You made out with two different species that night
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
