i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
