I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
