how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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